Living at Home as an Adult
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Loading ...October 2, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Opinion, Weekly Columns
There are those who believe that anyone who is no longer in school should move out from their parents’ home and become more responsible. Unfortunately, living away from one’s parents does not make a person more responsible. Responsibility and being an adult comes from one’s behaviour, not because one no longer lives with his/her parents. If living at home as an adult makes one irresponsible, then much of the world is this way – only in Anglo countries are young, unmarried adults encouraged to move out as soon as they finish school. In most of the world, adults are expected to live at home until marriage. In some cultures, the eldest son stays with his parents, even after he marries – in fact, you could say that he is MORE responsible, since the eldest son is expected to take care of his mom and dad.
These days, with the high cost of rent, many young people find moving out unaffordable, even with a room-mate. They found staying with their parents the only feasible alternative. Sometimes, I even think that the parents enjoy having their kids around. That is why more and more, this is becoming the “norm,” especially in larger cities. In fact, I personally don’t know of too many people who did not spend at least one year at home after finishing their school. Those who did not go home either had jobs in other towns lined up or had already completed professional degrees such as law or medicine.
Living at home has its benefits – it often means free or low-cost services, including laundry, cleaning and meals. However it also has its drawbacks. After spending four years away from home, one who returns to his or her parents often has to live by “their” rules once again. This might sometimes even mean curfews. And unless one is lucky enough to have a basement suite, complete with an alternate entrance, bringing home dates would prove to be impossible – unless you want your parents fawning over whether this person is going to be a future spouse. And one can get too comfortable living at home and might not want to leave. We have been hearing stories of 30-something men in Italy who are still living with their parents. In fact, the government is getting in on this, giving these guys tax breaks for rent.
Even though I come from a culture where people are expected to live at home until marriage, I don’t think living at home too long is such a great idea. In fact, I think one should be out of the house by 30, even if the parents beg and plead. Moving out is not about responsibility or irresponsibility. It’s about getting space.
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