Mind Your Manners: Don’t Be Late!
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Loading ...Kyle Bernstein
At a large cocktail party, arriving one hour after the time stated on the invite is considered “fashionably late”. Turn up twenty minutes past the prearranged time of a doctor’s appointment, though, and you’re likely to lose your spot and may still be asked to fork over the co-pay. There are occasions when scheduling is not rigid, but most of those are limited to casual outings with family or friends. In most cases, especially in a professional setting, when a specific start (and possibly end) time is given, that is precisely when you are expected.
Showing up late sends a signal to others that you don’t respect their time or value the date. Regardless of what your parents may have told you, you are not the center of the universe. The song holds true; “The most important person in the world to you is you”. To others, especially if you are late or otherwise inconsiderate, you may be annoying and obstructive. Every person has their own agenda. Although it can be difficult to fit everything you need to do into a day, you need to consider that we all face the same challenge. In this age of juggling, everyone is trying to check one more thing off their list and squeeze in one more errand. But those tasks should take a back seat to firm commitments. Sticking to a schedule is part of social cooperation and courteous to others involved. While you may not be in a hurry, someone you’re meeting may not lead as leisurely a life as you do. On the same token, there may be an event you are not thrilled about attending but other participants have spent time and money to organize. Your unpunctuality is inconsiderate to those who actually want to be there. In many situations, lateness can result in fees to yourself, like an overdue book charge, or to someone else who is waiting for you, like those who pay a babysitter by the hour or feed a parking meter.
Sure, we all run late from now and again – we lose track of time or get stuck in traffic, but if it’s become a regular occurrence for you, you’re probably not being rational about how long things take or how much you can accomplish in a day. If you have an engagement and find yourself behind, call as soon as you realize you’re delayed – and be honest about when you can realistically arrive. Your lateness may give others the chance to do something else, like make a phone call or run another errand. If you’re going to be more than just a few minutes late, you may want to give the other party or participants the opportunity to reschedule. If you find that you’re habitually delayed for one particular occasion, perhaps there is something else going on entirely. If you always show up late to a certain class you’re taking or to see one specific individual, maybe it’s not the clock you’re at odds with. If you care so little about attending, perhaps you should consider bowing out gracefully. Of course, we all have to do things we don’t want to do, but everyone else concerned is making that effort , showing up really is the least you can do.
In fact, there are many instances when being early is to your advantage. Professionally, it shows that you are an eager and willing participant and that you are prepared. On a personal level, getting in a few minutes before the bell may allow you to check out the scene, do some networking, or get a good seat. For those who are habitually late, it can be refreshing to have time to use the ladies room and freshen up after a sweaty bus ride instead of swooping in disheveled, just to have everyone turn to watch your entrance.
Since you are polite and stick to a rigid program, you probably do great deal of waiting. One way to deal with a chronic “tardy” is to have them meet you at your home or office where you can occupy yourself comfortably until they arrive. Another trick is to ask them to meet you earlier than the time on your calendar. Of course, if you find you are constantly waiting for one particular individual, you may want to talk with this person. Perhaps they hadn’t realized how often they’re late. Maybe they surmise that since you’ve never mentioned it, that you don’t mind. Some people are just chronically behind schedule, but if they’re only late to see you, it could point to an issue of control or apathy. Good communication can help sort these issues out.
So fill up that FiloFax. Meet some people, do great things, and be a polite & productive member of society.
Show the world that you mean business. And for goodness sake, don’t be late!
Image © Stockphoto4u/iStockPhoto
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