Movies have been dealing with culture clashes between immigrant parents and their new country raised children.  The first talking picture, The Jazz Singer dealt with this very topic – a son of a Jewish cantor who wished to perform jazz.  Several decades later, we got Bend it like Beckham and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  The parents are always portrayed as being old fashioned, while the child is innovative and worldly.  But how real is that?  Answer?  It depends.

Many people expect families of immigrants to be very regimental, strict, etc.  You know, kids are restricted to certain types of extra curricular activities (usually involving some sort of musical instrument that one doesn’t play in a rock band) or sports such as swimming or tennis.  That is, if you’re allowed to participate at all.  I believe these are works of fiction in many cases – I have honestly never met any child of immigrants whose parents wanted them at school only.  It just doesn’t rock that way.  Most families are in reality not that strict.  While they expect you to respect your ancestral culture, they realize that you were raised in a different culture.  They realize that THINGS AREN’T THE SAME HERE and don’t expect that you would adhere to the ancestral culture 100%.  Besides, cultures evolve – what was considered acceptable when the parents left the old country might not today.  In other words, what they do might be seen as dated or old fashioned today even back home.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t conflicts.  When it comes to major traditions like holidays and weddings, old world rules often apply.  While some kids are okay with tradition, others might not be.  It’s important that these issues are carefully discussed and a compromise found.  I am sure that the first Chinese bride to wear a white wedding gown caused quite a scandal amongst her circle at that time.  After all, white is a mourning colour in her culture!